Embrace the Fear

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I don’t know why I’m sharing this but for whatever reason I feel the need to: In the past 5 years I’ve entered 3 waves of extreme life changes.

The first one was the most drastic and the hardest and I had avoided it for a very long time - if you know me, you know this story already. Letting go of everything familiar in my life without any foresight felt akin to entering the home of the boogie man solo.

Not only would I be leaving everything stable and everything I’d known (getting laid off from my job, losing a steady paycheck, parting ways from all of my friends and family, leaving my relationship, saying goodbye to my dog and the house I lived in, letting go of the majority of my belongings, moving 2000 miles from the state I had lived in my entire life), but my family wasn’t very thrilled my life changes either.

Upsetting my family was probably the most painful part of the process, next to the pain and guilt of leaving someone I cared so deeply about. However, I decided to be selfish and do what I felt I needed to do anyway. With no job lined up and zero clue about what I wanted to do for work, without knowing a soul in the new city I was about to call home, I packed my clothes and art supplies into my car and left for Denver.

Essentially, I was giving myself a second shot at life. It was exciting! But the fear was very real. I went through some really hard financial times. At one point even had to crash in a friend’s basement on a futon for a while. I felt like I had hit rock bottom and I questioned all of my life choices… But even in that situation, I didn’t regret them… And there was no way I was going to let my life turn to shit. That’s not how Christine Dart rolls.

I bootstrapped. I got myself a place to live. I worked a day job and I was working on a business too. Eventually, things got better. And that was how I lost my fear of change and learned, instead, to embrace it. It IS scary, but if there’s anything scarier, it’s stagnancy. I can’t imagine a life without growth. It’s how we acquire wisdom and strength.

I’ve rolled through a couple more cross-country moves, and last year finally left the steady paycheck world for good. I couldn’t have done this had I not learned that change is a friend and not an enemy.

What kept me going through the unknowns and sleepless nights of a new business was 1) Incredible generous and supportive friends and 2) All-out trust in God (the Universe, Source, whatever your word is). To all my friends facing major transitions right now: if you have those 2 things, change is your friend and I promise you’ll be alright.